Perseverance! My biggest problem! You know, when i was having that 2 month break from school from mid Jan to mid March... things were quite smooth sailing. I felt that i spent the first 1 month of the holiday better than the next half. The first half seemed to be more "fruitful". Whereas the second half...well swayed back into a routine, sadly. And then came along this thing called Math. And ever since it started, things have never been routine or the same again.

In the passage above, James talk about being patient. Now in this context he was probably writing to his brethren who were being taken advantage of by rich people. But see how he tells them to be patient, like a farmer who waits for a few months (early and late rains are few months apart) to see the results of his farming. Do not grumble, behold, for the Lord is at the door. Wait a bit more, be patient instead of grumbling and being judged for it. And he gives the prophets as examples of suffering and patience. ANd indeed blessed are those who remained steadfast. Like Job!

But what really caught me was the verse telling me to establish my heart. I realised that my heart was not set. There was a lot of grumbling against my Math teacher who really didn't make sense. There was a lot of unhappiness at having to put in so much extra, extra effort in studying on my own. Extra efforts are really necessary you know when you have forgotten everything from eons back and you don't learn much in class. So i found myself resorting to my Poly-days attitude. The phlegmatic self in me. The part that simply doesn't care, simply doesn't wanna do anything about it eventhough i know that i have to do something about it! My heart was simply not established. It was wavering. It was struggling to establish itself firmly. I was not patient. I wanted instantaneous results without having to go through the hard process.

There's this saying that perseverance is a rare commodity in a microwave society with so many technological advancements. When problems come, we send up prayers with almost the same expectation as when we press the buttons on our microwave. A few seconds, we think, and we should be done with it.

As i said in my previous post, i want to go through this module trusting the Lord. It's one thing knowing what i am going to face. It's another when you're going through the actual process. But trust must be accompanied by obedience. I can't simply sit back, don't care, and trust that the Lord will pull me through, expecting results, if i don't do anything about it. It doesn't work that way. That would be making a mockery out of my God.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2 - 4

A verse that we all know very well. Maybe i've been too comfortable during the two month holiday again; Forgetting that there is no way to become a mature Christian without trials -trials that slowly burn away the flesh in order for Christlikeness to shine out forth from our body.

So do pray with and for me, that instead of looking for an escape, i may instead look to the Lord. That i may instead look forward to the benefit of the trial - steadfastness & maturity & a closer walk with Him, - that i may find joy in having my character being "burnt into shape" by Him.
Perseverance.

Ramble Yusoff :-)

Labels: School